Business Growth Architect Show: Founders of the Future
The Business Growth Architect Show: Founders of the Future
We are over-optimized, over-scheduled, and running on empty. Every moment has to be productive. Every system has to scale. And yet founders everywhere are crashing — their health, their relationships, their mental wellbeing paying the price for a way of building that was never sustainable to begin with. The old systems are coming down and good riddance, but that leaves a real question on the table: what do you build instead?
The Business Growth Architect™ Show: Founders of the Future is where that question gets answered. Hosted by Beate Chelette, The Growth Architect™, this show exists for founders who want to stop forcing and start flowing — to build something that serves their clients, sustains their life, and grows through alignment and resonance rather than strain. We talk to founders in the messy middle, founders who just hit rock bottom and knew something had to change, and founders who came out the other side with a different way of doing business entirely. Because the truth every guest on this show has lived is this: it starts from the inside. Because change is an inside job.
🎧 Listen in and join the conversation shaping the future of business.
Business Growth Architect Show: Founders of the Future
Crazy Aware, Crazy Good, Crazy Nevertheless
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He loved every minute of the breakdown that made everyone around him want him committed.
Steve Barton loved every minute of his breakdown. That is the part people cannot get past when he tells this story, and it is the part I could not get past either.Steve ran his family's flower business for over thirty years, starting at twenty-two after his father's stroke left him no choice. He built the life everyone tells you to build.
Successful. Respected. Decades in. And he realized he had everything he wanted and he was not happy.So he did the work. Therapy.
A Course in Miracles. Every book, every teacher that showed up once he went looking. He did not dabble but fully committed. And the work blew up in his face.
He started seeing the dead. He was running on an energy high he didn’t know existed and could not turn off. He was telling people the truth before he had learned how to hold it. He loved every second of it. The people around him did not. They called him crazy, and not the good kind.
They wanted him committed.Steve knew he was crazy. He loved it anyway.On the other side of crazy is so much simplicity. Someone who is fully at peace, has forgiven everyone. The result you ask? A coaching practice with a tool he is patenting, the Game of Ten.
And a promise he brings to everyone who will listen: you are enough. You have always been enough. He does not look at a breakdown as a bad thing. He welcomes it in, and he wants you to love this call to awareness at every step of the way just as much as he does.Listen to the episode. It's a little bit crazy.
Connect with Steve Barton: Website
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I said I have everything in the world I want and I'm not happy. They thought I was going crazy. They tried to get me committed. I had an ego breakdown and I shot up into awareness and I was on a high, natural high, and I couldn't come down. And that frightened the people around me. I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know you could have one. I had the out of my experience. It was like Patrick Swayze in the movie Ghost.
SPEAKER_00It was very intense. How did you keep going? With me today, Steve Barton from Steve Barton Coaching. And my provocative question for you, Steve, on how we start this episode is so you went through a major crisis, a major life transformation, and you say you enjoyed every minute of it. What? Can you please explain yourself?
SPEAKER_02I had a good time, but the people around me didn't have a very good time. They thought I was going crazy. They tried to get me committed. They tried everything. And I just said, leave, just leave. I'm fine. Everything's good. Just give me some space. They were not able to do that. So I said I was having a good time. I didn't say everyone around me was having a good time. So it's when someone does have an awakening, call it spiritual, call it whatever you want. I had an ego breakdown, and I shot up into awareness. And I was on a high, natural high that was started with a natural cocaine high to a natural heroin high. And I couldn't come down. And that frightened the people around me. My first wife, and we we separated because of it. And um yeah, it was hard for others because there's not a lot of understanding about awakenings.
SPEAKER_00And when you so take me through this sort of this process. So, you know, as somebody, and and we just spoke about this in the green room for a second, as somebody who's going through a transformation or a rewiring or an awakening, how do you get to enjoy this? Because I am not sure I'm enjoying this. What was it about this that while you're in this major breakdown and you know, and you you're sort of seeking the breakthrough before the breakout, how did you figure out how to enjoy this? Because there's nothing enjoyable about this, at least.
SPEAKER_02I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know you could have one. So I was guessing I was so naive about it that I had no idea. This was 36, 34 years ago. I had out-of-body experience, I was channeling, I had the out-of-body experience. It was like Patrick Swayze in the movie Ghost. That's the only way I can describe it. And I I want to call it a near-death experience, too, because I had a choice. Steve, you figured stuff out, you can go.
SPEAKER_00It's crazy to me. So let's backtrack here a little bit.
SPEAKER_02I'm happy that crazy thief.
SPEAKER_00Well, so your story is, you know, so so you're setting out to do your own thing. You're about to go to a very prestigious floral design school in Amsterdam. And something happens and you have to change your whole life. So take us through some sort of these hard turns early in your life that led to this complete breakdown.
SPEAKER_02So I was actually I was raised in the flower business from eight years old till the time I took it over at 22. So I was new, you know, in the fourth grade, I did my presentation, it was a floral arrangement, like every fourth grader, you know? So, and we used plastic, I used plastic flowers and before soapseating came in. And um, so I knew from a very young age what there was never a question of my mind what I'm gonna do. I was gonna be a florist. And one thing that I realized early on, and I worked, I worked there after schools, I worked there during the weekends, I worked there during the summers. And one thing was certain I could never work with my father. Okay. We were just too much alike or too much.
SPEAKER_00But you're saying, you know, let's just define that. You know, I talk about trauma and and and my abuse fairly, fairly openly, you know, ever since I've had, you know, these first awakenings in my plant journeys. So is there trauma? Is there abuse? Was it just uh a a mean person? Tell us tell us a little bit more what were you facing?
SPEAKER_02We were never safe in our home with friends of the family. We were sexually it was abused, yeah. And it was chronic and it was regular and we'd protected ourselves. We so-and-so staying a bit of tuck in tight, stuff like that as children. Which is Yeah, so we were constantly having these um people in our home, friends of the family, and never safe. My brother and I took the brunt of it. And my sister, that she was old enough, she was I think protected because she was female and uh these were pedophiles. So was there trauma? Absolutely. So yeah.
SPEAKER_00Never said that on a podcast before. I really felt that. I I just felt this complete wave of horror, right? Like fear. I I I I literally just felt that when you said that. So I I want to just pause here and say thank you for allowing this to come out. I see you and I appreciate you for sharing that. And the reason I I ask these sometimes very intimate and difficult questions is because the further I go in my journey of allowing people to see what really happened, the more I recognize it allows other people to recognize what happened to them to then achieve these moments of awareness, which we will be going to. So just as a prelude, we and we're not going to like, you know, take the drill and go in there now, but as an acknowledgement of what you've been through through, I'm very sorry you had to experience that.
SPEAKER_02And it taught me how to forgive and let go better than I'm an expert in letting go and forgiveness. It doesn't mean it didn't happen. It just doesn't control me and who I am. It doesn't define who I am, it doesn't have attachment to who I am. And it's so freeing to know that. And um those out there, just it it happened, okay? Everything out everyone out there, the trauma you it happened. It doesn't have to define us and it doesn't have to hold have a grip on us when we let go.
SPEAKER_00Now you're 22, and you know, all of this happened in your childhood.
SPEAKER_02You're trying to get away from it, and you get caught into my adulthood. I was groomed, okay? And I was um, yeah, I was groomed. And 18 comes around and bam, they're in. Okay. So there's that too. And I think it's not the fear, it's more the shame around it. The guilt and the shame. You know, it's for anyone who's been and had sexual things happen that did I what did I do to create this? Okay, you have that blame and shame and and guilt, and it's just and uh yeah.
SPEAKER_00Let me go back to this moment. So, was then this uh desire of yours to go to Amsterdam to go to this floral design school?
SPEAKER_02There was no floral design school. I was just going. Okay. I had uh I had booked a flight and what had a one-way ticket to Amsterdam, and I was going to study floral design by the best. The Dutch and the Germans uh that were the best that they still are, probably. And um that's what I wanted to I wanted to learn floral design there. Three days before I was leaving, I'd broken up with my girlfriend who became my wife. Uh, I'd cleared all my slate. It was I was ready to go, not coming back. So three days before my parents were at a FTD convention in Missouri and um Kansas City, Missouri. And I get a phone call. My mother says, uh, your father's had a full-blown stroke. He's paralyzed on his left, the whole left side. You can't leave. You need to run the business. So I was 22, and I became the manager of the flower shop. And the next oldest employee was I was 22, the next youngest person in the company was 40. So that was a big hit.
SPEAKER_00Now you're the boss, you're running this for 30 years. You are extremely successful at this. Take me sort of through the height of all of this. What does your life look like in this moment? So you have the wife, you have the successful business. Now you're sort of, you know, using your skills, and you are, let's can can I say at the top of the game, things are humming along. What happens that initiated this massive transformation?
SPEAKER_02I have a first wife and a final wife. Now I have a girlfriend of ten years.
SPEAKER_01First wife and a final wife.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And now I have a girlfriend of 10 years, which we're happily together. And my first wife was manager of Saturday, I was on the floor of LOB and became vice president over what a five-year period. And um just we were both very business focused, no family, and and uh one of the Bean's employees came to work for me, and she used to be a manager, but she either got fired or quit, I don't know, but she was going to therapy. And 34 years ago, you just didn't go to therapy around in Maine anywhere. I mean, you didn't tell her if you were. So I thought to myself, you know, when the student's ready, the teacher appears, Course in Miracles came into my life. Stephen Cubby's seven seven habits of highly effective people, Elizabeth Kugel Ross' death. I was just voraciously like looking and all these things were coming into my life. And I decided to go to the therapist that everyone at the C-suite of Beans went to because they were type A. They worked 16, 80 hours a week, but just didn't balance no balance in their life. I made an appointment and it was Larry Rory, and he looked like a he was like a Mr. Rogers type of guy, my age at the time. He's probably 70 at the time when I went to a and he says to me, Why are you here? I said, I have everything in the world I want and I'm not happy. I said, and I used the F-word, that's messed up. Okay. He he laughed. I said, What can how long is it going to take and what can I expect? I had no idea about therapy. Nothing. He says, Well, typically it takes three months, but you're halfway there. And they said, and what you'll expect is mental health. And mental health meant nothing to me. I didn't know and now that's what I coach, that's what I do. That's the foundation of high performance. You have mental health. You will be go far in being with very healthy boundaries. You know, being the awareness that we are with healthy boundaries is essential for being a peak performer.
SPEAKER_00And then at this point, much of your life just uh starts to happen. Your wife decides not to want to be engaged in the relationship with you.
SPEAKER_02That took a year, okay. When I had so during that month and a half working with Larry, I had the Autobot experience. I was channeling, I was doing that. And my biggest respect was sharing that with people who they didn't understand it. So they were not as psyched around it as I was. I said, I'm gonna give it a year. And finally, after a year uh of when this when it all started, I had an apartment building with two units in it. The single unit became available. I've got there's a sign. And one morning we got up and had coffee and she goes, Steve, you you know I still think you're crazy. I said, I am. What do you mean? I'm living with you and you don't love me. That's crazy. So I left and moved into the single apartment. I brought over a quilt and a pillow and went to work. Across the street was a flower shop. And I came back from work that night. She went and got the quilt I bought and gave me one with a big hole in it. I rolled on the floor laughing, and it was like, yeah. I said this, yeah.
SPEAKER_00So what I'm really interested in now, and I want to go a little bit deeper in it. So when we talk about transformation sort of retroactively, it it almost all makes sense, right? We we know that certain things need to happen at a certain time. And then you look back and you say, well, if that wouldn't have happened, that wouldn't have happened, and then I wouldn't have done this, and then I wouldn't have met this person, and I wouldn't have had this opportunity. Take our listeners through that might be experiencing one of these moments where they just don't see the point, the point of this. You know, I just spoke yesterday to one of my clients, and she's I don't even know if I can continue because it is so incredibly difficult. How did you keep going? So you you you now have a spiritual foundation. You're reading the books. Well, that's typically one thing, but how do you implement this so strongly that you're not falling off the horse? Because, you know, in the psychology of change, we know there's the valley of despair uh that inevitably comes once you make the change where you just go and you kind of can't continue the luminal space. How did you manage that? Because this does not sound like it was easy, because it it sounds like your own personal, mental, and emotional transformation was a lot more intense than you probably letting on on this podcast.
SPEAKER_02Um it was very intense. I mean, I was channeling people coming in the flower shop with their deceased relatives. I was going home telling my parents, stop doing that, stop doing that. If that gets out, they're gonna not do business with us. The people were loving it, they get to keep they get to talk to their deceased relatives. And it was just I was not supported whatsoever.
SPEAKER_00So you had opened completely the portal to uh to the other side.
SPEAKER_02I'm still open to it. So yeah, it's never lost, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And so everybody thinks either they love you or they think you are nuts.
SPEAKER_02And even to this day, when I talk about my game of 10 and my coaching process, some people come across that, I think you're crazy. They said, Yeah, I am like a fox, and laugh and walk away. You know, because you can't when people are low awareness. When you're if they're let you know, in the game of 10, there's 10. One through nine is the game often played, and ten is the game of ten. You're aligned with awareness and you come from awareness. And when people are low vibrating at a lower level, they can only see you as crazy. Okay. Their filter is only has that movie projector of filters, seeing someone who has done this as crazy. So I get it. Okay.
SPEAKER_00So you have to take us through the 10 now. And then do you want to start with the word whelm first before we go in the 10 or after?
SPEAKER_02One of my favorite words is whelm. Inner peace is a state of whelm. Most people are underwhelmed with their life or overwhelmed with their life. And the sweet spot is whalm.
SPEAKER_01And that is I thought when you told me that that was a little bit crazy, and I still think that. So take us through the game of 10. Now we need to know.
SPEAKER_02People don't think I'm crazy and not going out on a lamb enough. Okay. I'm I'm losing my edge. So, yes, but those out there think I'm crazy like a fox. I say back. So the game of 10 is based on awareness foundation. It's a it's a process. So we're all appoint it's based on the assumption we're all appointed ten. And through life situation, we become disappointed. Bruce Lipton talks about the seven year first seven years of life. We are in theta. So we pick up the family traumas, we pick up all the parent or or guardian traits, emotions, thoughts, feelings, and emotions energy energetically, and we absorb it as children. I think that's an inner child. And then the rest of our life is we often operate from that level of subconsciousness. We're all appointed ten, and through life situations, maybe a minor um, maybe a no brought you down to nine. Maybe a death brought you down to five. Maybe a abuse brought you down to three. Maybe something brought you down to one, and you are just desperately, desperate, and lit can't get out of that level of depression. So the game of ten, and that's the game often played. Most people are living in that one through nine matrix, and the game often played is three categories, four categories: fear one through nine, self-doubt one through nine, guilt one through nine, and shame one through nine. So nine times nine times nine times nine is six thousand five hundred and sixty-one options to play in this game. The game of ten has infinite options.
SPEAKER_00And it's an actual game.
SPEAKER_02I made it up. I have it registered with the US Patent Office. So it's process, it's a game, it's a process. It will be will it be a game? Sure. I think eventually we'll have it into a game.
SPEAKER_00Well, I mean, you know, I'm I'm channeling this for you because I'm I appreciate that. It is called a game of ten. I mean, you didn't get the name game for nothing. You know, it's meant to be a game.
SPEAKER_02Well, thank you. Oh, I love it. It's so much fun.
SPEAKER_00So give me like an example. So let's maybe play for the audience in in one or two of those.
SPEAKER_02Let's do this first, because I gotta get you the rules, okay? The reverse rule for high performers, you're gonna grow. And during this growth, rule number one never ever ever beat yourself up. Because that is number one thing that I find with high performers. While they're learning, while they're growing, they become their own punishers.
SPEAKER_00You know exactly what I'm gonna say now. Yes. You don't have to. It's so interesting because you and I, you know, we are in this space and we teach this, and yet it is so freaking easy to get yourself right back into this. Why is it taking so long? Why can I not be more productive? Why can't I not be productive from seven in the morning until seven o'clock at night? What is it that is taking me so long? What is it that, you know, where's the money? Why is it not flowing? Why is this not, why does this client didn't call back? Is it about me? So we are, I find you're absolutely correct. In the high performance space, and in my book, uh Happy Woman, Happy World, I call it uh that our expectation is that we want to be the combined result of the best attributes of all of our friends.
SPEAKER_02You're gonna love these six phrases we're gonna do together. Okay. Okay. There's two major uh processes in the game of 10. One is the affirmation, the other is letting go of what comes up that doesn't serve us any longer, aka letting go or forgiveness. Okay. So the first one, so repeat after me. And when you declare that we are 10, uh, don't repeat this, but uh when we declare that we're 10, we're saying that we are the highest level of awareness. Okay, so repeat after me. I'm 10. I'm 10. You're saying you're an aspect of God.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so I'm 10. I I am 10. I am an aspect of God. I actually truly believe that.
SPEAKER_02I know that you are, and I know that you know that. So that I'm doing the best that I can with the awareness that I have.
SPEAKER_00I'm doing the best that I can with the awareness that I have.
SPEAKER_02I'm always right with the awareness that I have.
SPEAKER_00I am always right with the awareness that I have.
SPEAKER_02I am enough. I am enough. I do enough.
SPEAKER_01I definitely do enough.
SPEAKER_02You can't do too much, you can't do too little. You have to be wound in enough. I have enough. I have enough. I have enough. Those six phrases quiet the ego, or they're quiets the reticular activating systems, quiets your nervous system, regulates your nervous system, it stops all the thoughts our ego are trying to get us to. That are you all set? You get this, get that, get that, yeah. Over uh Eckhart Tolle says one of our favorite lines the biggest addiction we have in this world is thinking and overthinking. I believe that suffering. Thinking used improperly causes suffering. Thoughts are great. I'm gonna teach, hopefully, a talk about how to use them. So those six phrases, the first one is declaration of who we are, eternal beings, because having a physical experience. We're ten. The next two phrases are declarations of our divine innocence. Nobody does anything unless you are just mean or uh or malicious. There are some intentional people that do that, and they suffer. So that declares our divine innocence. The next three phrases put us in a state of present moment awareness of grace and gratitude. And uh the space of awareness is our space where we do our work inner work, outer work, and we use our tools, we use our thoughts, we use our feelings, we use our emotions, we use our body, we use our mind, we use our identity, we use our skills, and we can develop those and hone those. But we do it from a place of perfection, divine perfection. But most people think they are their thoughts, think they are their feelings, think they are their emotions and think they are their mind and think they are the body and think they are their identity. They are tools. Think of it as a gardener. You have a tool shed, use them, use the right tool for the garden. And thoughts are like weeds.
SPEAKER_00You know, Steve, you talk about trust a lot and
SPEAKER_02Trust is love.
SPEAKER_00What I'm hearing is that it's almost like you're teaching me to trust myself. Because if I don't trust myself, how can I have trust in the world? Is is that where this is going? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You are yourself. Trust yourself. You can't be anyone else. And you can't want to be anyone else. And so many people do. And that's why they lose their identity. That's why they don't have an authentic self. That's why they have imposter syndrome.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02So yeah. We are super cool beings when we realize it. Everyone. The game of ten, those phrases go for everybody. I have to see everyone as ten.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02Are they operating from ten awareness? No. The words, their behaviors, and their how they display themselves in public.
SPEAKER_00Is it possible then, following what you're saying, that someone who is now listening to this podcast and say, you know, I'm in a spot of a of a transformation? It's not doesn't always have to be bad. It could be a phenomenal transformation. Maybe they're getting married, maybe they're having a baby, maybe there's uh they they got a promotion, or they're opening their own business, or they're going to the next million dollars, or whatever that is. And now they're catching this. What are you what's the most important thing you want them to take away from our conversation today? Is it that they're perfect, or what do you want them to take away?
SPEAKER_02From awareness, everything is perfect. Okay. From awareness, everything is perfect. And when you are paying a word that you were saying to yourself, I tell my clients, every thought's a prayer, whether you say it to yourself or it's to the outside world. What are you saying to yourself? What are you thinking to yourself? Every thought is a prayer you're putting out to the universe. Why is it taking so long? It's gonna take some longer. I'll make it take longer. Okay, you're just putting it out there. Be aware of your have meta awareness, awareness of your awareness, and don't beat yourself up. You're learning. So just say if you're gonna say anything in your mind, say those six phrases. They pulled you into present moment awareness of grace, gratitude, peace, love, joy, unconditional love, gratitude, grace, uh, attunement. You're connected. So when you do it from that place of awareness, you're connected to source, energy, ghost, whatever you want to call it. So do your asking from there, do it in the present moment and say what you have. Okay, don't do it from lack, say I want this, I need this. That's lack. Don't do it from guilt or shame. No, do it from love, do it from awareness and ask. Do your asking from there. You'll download, you'll get channeling, you'll but you'll be a channeler, a coach channeling. It's not normal, but it's natural. And do that thing, do your asking from awareness. You're gonna get ideas, intentional ideas that you can put into action or not. Then you're gonna grab a thought. Your left brain's gonna kick in. Oh, I like that idea. How are we gonna do this? And then you then it's strategic. So you're coming from this intimate relationship, personal relationship with source, energy, God, and then you go and just your left brain comes in and says, Yeah, let's do this from this. So, and then you create from there the physical non-create.
SPEAKER_00It sounds to me like it's almost like you're extending an invitation and a fireside chat with your spiritual self, where uh you cut down the noise and you say, you know what, it's just us, it's all good. Let's just have a cup of cocoa or whatever it is that you're drinking, and let's just take a breath.
SPEAKER_02And I use it five to ten times, those sayings five to ten times a day. When I if I'm safe, my mind's well, Cleveland Clinic, you've heard of that story. Uh 60,000 thoughts a day, 80% of them are from the past, 80% of them are negative. Who wants to use their mind as a holding bin for 40,000 negative thoughts throughout the day? No wonder there's such a pandemic of mental health issues. They don't know how to let them go. That brings me to the next step. So I've luckily the best thing about COVID, if anyone have a best thing about COVID story, is mine is I get to meet Marianne Williamson and my second coaching certificates with her. And she taught me an exercise. And and one month into the coaching program, I noticed the same company says write a book. So and they coach you on how to write a book. And I didn't know I get Marianne as one of my writing coaches. 13 times.
SPEAKER_00My final question for you now is which I th I'm I'm sure everybody, you know, is is dying to ask. So now with all this stuff that you do, are you happier? Are you more successful? Is the success and happiness a different definition? What is at the end of all this work and the awakening?
SPEAKER_02I'm enough. In every aspect of my life. In everything I do, be and have. It's enough. Enough is the universal space, the universal quantity, the universal portion. It's infinite. The universal time is now, the present moment. Now, Eckhartoli wrote the book, The Power of Now. Steve Barton wrote the Valentin Sun, the Aha moment. Enough. Time space collapses when now is always enough to do, be, and have anything you choose.
SPEAKER_00And that is probably enough for us for today, too. How can we find out more about you? You've written a book. Where do we get the book?
SPEAKER_02Uh tell us all the contact points and how to follow up with you.com and if you Amazon, if you want to get a paper back, go to my website, download a free copy, www.stevebartoncoaching.com. I'm on LinkedIn, active on LinkedIn. And those are the two major places I'm starting to do. So I have resistance to doing videos on uh social media apps. So I I'm still human. People out there, it is a process. Be gentle on yourself. It's a lifelong process. I'm still learning.
SPEAKER_00So our audience knows when we have a podcast interview, we actually give our guests the full uh fully uh edited video. And we are asking that you take this video and you edit clips and share this content because we might as well get the message out. So you're on the hook now. I want to allow me a candle to it. Steve, what a what a pleasure to have you on the podcast. Thank you so much for being here.
SPEAKER_02Thank you so much. It's a pleasure. Been looking forward to this podcast for a long time. Thank you.
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much. And that is it for us for today. Thank you so much for listening to or watching this episode of uh Founders of the Future, the Business Growth Architect Show. I encourage you to really think about what we were talking about today. Just a simple mantra, I am enough, is probably one of the most powerful things you can say to yourself. If you have friends, family that are needing to hear this message today, please take a minute and share this episode with somebody who needs to hear the words we said today. And please do check out our guest. And I see you again next time. And goodbye. That's it for this episode of the Business Growth Architect Show, Founders of the Future. If you're done playing small and ready to build the future on your terms, subscribe, share, and help us reach more trailblazers like you. And if you're serious about creating, growing, and scaling a business that's aligned with who you are, schedule your uncovery session at uncoverysession.com. Lead with vision. Move with purpose. Create your future.
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