When You Know You're Done But the Next Thing Hasn't Arrived

Tarkan Salar on Living Inside an Unfinished Transformation

Tarkan Salar did not lose his business. He dismantled it. Deliberately, painfully, over eighteen months, canceling contracts, unwinding supplier relationships, letting go of nearly 2,000 employees, absorbing millions in losses, all while his marriage fell apart, his father died, and the people closest to him told him he was making a mistake.

He had built a $50Mill dollar fashion company supplying H&M and major European retailers. Family members were on payroll. His identity, his relationships, his entire world was wrapped inside that company. He walked away from all of it because he could not do it anymore. He had no plan. He had a one-way ticket to Bali and left it all behind.

The hustle part is done. What has not arrived yet is everything else.
The people he thought were friends turned away the moment he stopped being useful. The family members he had carried for years are still angry. And Tarkan is in what he calls the void, no identity, no clear purpose, no confirmation that any of it is going to lead somewhere worth going. The next chapter is not here. He is living in the gap.

In this conversation, Tarkan shares what it looks like to be inside that gap right now. The Sufism framework that helps him make sense of why everything was taken away. The 5am Club audiobook that cracked something open in Bali. The 12,000 hours of self-development that have compounded into something he is still learning how to bring into the world. And the honest admission that he does not know what comes next.

Beate brings her own rawness to this one. Two people in the exact same spot, on different parts of the world, mapping the terrain of an unfinished transformation together.

About Tarkan Salar.

Tarkan Salar, is a consumer brand strategist, inventor, and operator with 26+ years building and scaling global fashion and consumer goods brands.

Connect with Tarkan Salar

Website| LinkedIn |Instagram

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Transcript

Tarkan Salar 0:00

Back then I was just tired of all this fighting and I get divorced and then my dad died and everything came at the same time somehow. And then I just said okay I don't want this anymore. I had almost 2,000 employees direct and indirect. And then finally when I did it, I moved to Bali and I thought, like, okay, I wanna start over. That was too much. And then I felt like in a prison. If I don't enjoy something, then I just stop. The hardest thing is you are in the void. You will feel so lost, but you have to keep going.

Beate Chelete 0:47

Today with me is Tarkan Salar from Can't Stop Me Consulting. And Tarkan and I, we're gonna talk about something that is a topic that I am personally also exploring, and that is what do you do when you don't want to do it anymore and you just stop? Tarka, was it a midlife crisis? Was it a decision? What was it because you took it all and you flushed it down the toilet? What happened?

Tarkan Salar 1:17

This back then I was just tired of all this fighting, you know, like when when you build a company, all this political bullshit. I was just tired, all this discussion, and then I get divorced, and then my dad died, and everything came at the same time somehow. And then I just said, okay, I I don't want this anymore. But it were things already coming, you know. Like I wanted to close Germany and move completely to my Hong Kong. Although I had an office in Hong Kong factory in China, wanted to move completely there. Nobody in Germany wanted that, of course. And then at some point I just said, okay, I'm going to close that. It was a really crazy process because in fashion you sink uh in seasons, and then you have agents, they sold already next season. So it took almost one and a half years to I had almost 2,000 employees direct and indirect, so to cancel contracts, la la la, dissolve all of that. Um and then finally, when I did it, I moved to Bali and I thought like, okay, I want to start over. I didn't know anything about fashion. I pack my bag, go to the high street with 18 and try to sell. So I take most decisions very fast and clear, and then somehow at some point it turns out to be right.

Beate Chelete 2:53

You are in fashion, you are a manufacturing in China, you have contracts all over the world, you're running a multimillion dollar company, it's a family business. What brought you to this point of saying, I'm in prison? What am I doing this for? Why am I doing this? And or was it that you had no joy, or was it like everything all at once?

Tarkan Salar 3:17

It was like everything at once. Like I I had still my joy, but it seems the people around me all of the sudden they they had only their own life in focus, and the company was not in focus anymore. And all these things we did together was also evaporating. And also the the whole industry changed. And now with when the e-commerce thing hit, it changed everything. So customers like HM or CNA, you know, like very solid customers become uh unpredictable because in fashion you always can find a problem on any garment, right? Industry going a different way was not the joy anymore because I did it for so long. I saw all the great times. Most of the time we had fun, right? And then that plus the environment, plus probably my family situation. So I said that was too much, and then I felt like in a prison, and that's what not what I wanted to do anymore.

Beate Chelete 4:30

How did you find the courage to say, screw this all, I'm gonna shut it down? Because so many people depend on it. Your family is depending on it.

Tarkan Salar 4:39

I have no idea. I just uh I don't know even if if it was right or wrong, right? So because I I lost also millions in that process, I couldn't do this anymore. And I lose the energy, the joy for something, then I can't do it. Like it's it's there is very different entrepreneurs. Everyone follows, wants to follow, like Alex Sarmozzi or Gary B or Steven Bartlett. So that's why for me, if I don't enjoy something, then I just stop. Screw that shit, so I'm up. Right.

Speaker 5:18

How did you manage the fallout? There has to have been a fallout. Like people probably were really angry with you. Probably a lot of relationships uh took a lot of hits.

Speaker 1 5:29

All of them, right? So for everyone, I was the bad guy. But the funny thing is this I didn't just fire them or something.

Speaker 5:40

Moving on with their lives regardless, yes.

Speaker 1 5:42

And in the end, nobody is grateful for whatever you did, right? That was the hardest thing when I go back to Germany to face the closest people that the turn. I I mean, I just saw that in film movies. I said that's bullshit. Everyone keeps saying if you don't have any benefit for people anymore, they will turn their back on. That's kind of what happens. Right? If you're not on a playing field, people start treating you different, and that's a hard thing. Most of them were like you thought they just were also some kind of friends, and that was from my young childhood traumas. I always chased friendship in the company. I always wanted to connect to people, right?

Speaker 6:36

And that was really where's your spiritual transformation now beginning? Because you clearly searching for something. Did you know you were searching for something? And how did you how did this first breadcrumb show up for you?

Speaker 1 6:50

No, I didn't know. And the first so when I go to Bali, I was just wanted to get away, start over, right? I didn't plan actually like too much into the future, and then three months later I opened a restaurant and then more, and then buy some villas, and then did some hospitality business, right? And then what happened is when the the spiritual part came one week before the pandemic with the book from Robin Sharmer, 5 a.m. Club. I don't know why, but somehow the first audiobooks came out. And I I'm a bad reader, I never read the book until that point. I fall to sleep every time I read. By now, I finished over 350 books, but audiobooks. So that I remember that was one of the first audiobooks, and then I find 5 a.m. club, I'm like, okay, I want to listen to that, and that completely changed everything. All of the sudden I had this, I could not shake this idea. What he's always saying, do only excellence and focus on one masterpiece. And then I could, I don't know why, but I could not stop thinking I need to impact 500 million people, I need to impact 500 million people. I could not get rid of that sort anymore, right? So that was my first spiritual crumble. And from that point until throughout the pandemic, until today, I never stopped the self-development part, like which is every day learning minimum one to two hours, something I don't know. And then training, meditating, and working. So that that's every day is that uh a part. I'm now probably over 12,000 hours in.

Speaker 8:51

What would you say to somebody who is been doing something for a long time? And I'm realizing that this idea that we are playing a part in an image that we create of ourself that we want the outside to see is so strong. Did you at any point see yourself as somebody who was performing to an outside image? Did that play into it? Did you need to shatter that?

Speaker 1 9:21

I think every human is equal. Well uh money or status doesn't matter. But with my every pain we have, it comes from our childhood, everyone. Like there is no human on the planet. Every pain is always rooted in our uh comes from our childhood, and then either it grows to something else, but it happens something there. So the only way you can find out what you want from here on is and this is sometimes painful, but I think you are already far enough that you can handle that easily. Not not easily, but can handle that, is you have to consistently find meditations and forgive your mom, your dad, and everyone in in from and even you are not sure there is something to forgive, you have to do that, right? And then at the same time, you need to find spiritual because you are maybe at at a point where you think, oh maybe I did so much, I'm already a little bit tired, blah blah blah. But you need to find the second wind, the spark, right? And and it's if it's not money, usually it's not at this point, right? You need to find the spark, like what you want to do as a as a vivid vision. And usually it starts really with scribbling down ideas with no limitations. So that's why the 5 a.m. is 20-minute spiritual work, 20-minute learn something new, and 20-minute training. Like you have to sweat to get your system going, right? And this triggers then where you want to go, this pulls you in some direction. People say, Yeah, I want to do this, but people usually in in this stage they're looking for something, but it's not clear, and it's it's sometimes super scary, like you are in the void. I felt like I'm in a no but nothing I know was as it it it as I know it. No but I don't get confirmation, I don't get rejection, I'm in a bubble. It was really scary, but it was also the best thing happened to me. So what I can say is anybody out there, they're scared of AI and all the shit is going on. Stop that shit. So there is no what if. There is only focus, presence, and then you grow from that. I'm sure if you sit down with an AI developer, you will come up with something hundred times better than the young guys where they just ask prompts, what they should do, what is trending, la la la la la la, and then they come up with something. You have a crazy amount of experience, and this is lived experience. If you channel this is in a product or service, then this is hundred times more valuable. I see so many people in this when the when the life splits. I know people with a lot of money, they handle this in a complete different way. Either they go super spiritual or they take more drugs or drinks or or they go. Yeah. So it's it's very hard.

Speaker 12:52

Listen, I I want to ask you something. You you had mentioned Sufism, and that you know, Sufism spay uh plays a rather uh significant part in your life. Do you want to tell us a little bit about that?

Speaker 1 13:03

Sufism is the spiritual part of Islam, right? And when before my son came to live with me, it was four months ago, five months ago. You have no purpose. To be honest, the moment when my son step uh I meet him at the airport, I f I understand that my purpose was gone too. So if you have no purpose, money, I could I I meditate the shit out of it. I could not, if my life depends on it, I could not visual big money, this, this, because I already did that and it doesn't pull me. I try. So and then I listened to this one YouTube video like this Sufism. Everything will be taken away, but not for negative reasons, just so you can focus inwards. So if you have nowhere to turn but inwards, then you can see what you have to see. And that's happened. So my friends, my family, all the people turned away in a way. So if someone gives me any signs or something, then I can't do that. So I can't be with that person uh again, etc. etc. So that's what I mean by turning away. And I had only the way to turn inwards. I remember in the pandemic, really, when the uh streets were empty and you are on an island. That's like a ghost town in a Western movie, right? And um I remember like kind of thinking, what what will happen and and where I'm going to be after this, right? So because I have no AI skills, social media, I'm like, I don't give a shit about that at that time, right? So one of the goals is figure out social media. I wrote it a little bit clearer, and then I start to read that every day because I knew this is one goal I have to master, no matter what. And in my desperation, I read it every day, right? So that's how I started to manifest thing. And Sufism is tells you basically this what almost all religion tells you. Everything happens for a reason, and if God challenges you, they call it the chosen one, right? You're chosen, uh you're called for a higher purpose. Right? If you see any leader, any spiritual leader too, they mostly suffered more than most. That's why they become spiritual leader. You cannot show me one person who had it everything good and become did something crazy outstanding.

Speaker 15:58

I I always say the same thing. I say, you know, people that make an impact, the story is never, they woke up a prince one day and things were handed to them, and then one day somebody gave them a crown, and now they're the king and they lived happily ever after, and then the queen showed up and they had, you know, fabulous princesses and princesses that then became king. That's a really boring story. The story is always it was a dragon, there was a challenge. They were thrown out of the kingdom, you know, they had to find the girl that was hidden behind the roses and and kiss her. So there's always always sort of a challenge. So you're you're saying that, by the way, I believe the same thing, that people that have, you know, I call the having received a call, that have gotten the call. If you get the call, you're gonna pick up at one one way or another at some point in your life. It just depends on how much you allow to break apart before you kind of get the get the message, right? You you've broken it down, you're taking this journey inward, and now what is emerging for you, and where are you in where is what is emerging at this stage?

Speaker 1 17:01

At this stage, where I am, is I want to have an impact, but I was trying to do it through self-development audiences, so because I was very purpose-driven, right? So, but now that the part I'm an entrepreneur since I'm 18, that that that brought me always back to this. I come back to spiritual things, yes, like building habits, focus, but never voo voo. I I'm not that type of uh guy, right? So, so to get real impact, kind of the Buddha and the badass mentality. So if you're only Buddha is not good, if you're only badass is not good, so somewhere the uh balance. And I was thinking, okay, I want to impact 500 million people if I help companies to become blue ocean companies, which means companies to do some outstanding things, right? Have a own positioning, push and ideally push humanity a little bit forward. That's what I uh want to do. And what happened is 26 years plus so much self-development learning. I studied obsessively, Steve Jobs, Phil Knight. I never did that. I'm like, shit, this this learning is super cool. Yeah, really, I never did that. I was just doing it. I read or listen to Phil Knight's story, the Nike founder. I'm like 80%, it's like I lived that, right? So I stand in the factories, what he's describing with essay, and I already experienced that too, exactly like that, right? Just with different companies. And so I would say what happened to me is like a crazy compound effect. So I lived it without ever knowing what I lived, right? I just keep going, learning, improving. And then what the self-development plus what I already lived and know, it compounded to a person. I can connect the dots custom to the person's problem in any situation in five minutes or less. I emerged with this superpower, but I need to bring it out faster. So in one part of my heart is how I can impact the maximum number of people, individuals. On the other part is I have to build a business too. Right? So I try uh that's that's where I am, that's why I'm doing uh podcast to bring out faster what I'm doing. Because I tried the other way, I help people. You cannot believe one guy saved 200 million dollars. 200 million dollar in a free aha moment call. I asked him, hey, can I speak in front of your company? Because it's a huge company, and I just wanted to use it for my social media. That guy don't even answer.

Speaker 20:18

I completely understand where you're going with this. I think that part of it is that, and this is uh uh really a quote from you, that you cannot doubt that you've been given this, you just cannot see it yet. So as you are unfolding or unwrapping this gift that you've been given, it does come with a distilled dismantling of your form a belief system. I realized that I'm I'm sharing this because this has literally just happened last week, where I asked my mother sort of about this money issue, right? And everybody in my family, my brother, sister, there's always a money issue of some sort. And then she said to me that my father started cheating on her when he became successful. So she embedded this belief system that when people make money, they become assholes and they do really terrible things. And when I heard that, it was, you know, and and I didn't cheat, but when I heard that, it was suddenly like something completely clicked. It was like there was a missing piece that I could finally understand that was happening. So, I mean, to risk and reciprocity of what you've been sharing, it just hasn't shown you yet where the monetization is coming from because you're still fine tuning the message and your positioning and you're still finding your tribe. And I have personally found that when you make these massive changes in my work with a lot of founders, is like it's like whack-a-mole, you know, where you have the the little where you hit the little, you know, cats or whatever they are that come up and you hit them, you just have to hit a bunch of. of them until you get it right. And pressing no buttons get you gets you faster to yes buttons. And so when you realize that people are just still taking advantage of you and don't want to pay for it, number one, it's bad karma for them. And number number two, it's just not quite that resonance that you are creating yet. You know, there's still a formation of until this this is complete. Because when you are in the circle that you're meant to be in, people will pay you the money and they pay you the money happily because they know that you know in the law polarity and in the spiritual laws there's no choice but for that to come back to them. So I want to thank you for really sharing the path because you're not you're not yet at that point where you look back and you say well here's how I did it. You're sharing with us as you're going through it and I find that such a rich powerful experience.

Speaker 1 23:07

Yeah that's that's the point what I want to tell people out there the hardest thing is you are in the void. What you're saying is right you feel like in a void you will feel so lost right and that like you think you are I had the point I said the first time in my life I'm not going to make and I'm not going to make it make it means like because you you're like in this void and you don't seem to find this holding like I can only say for everyone in our age or young a little bit younger that is the hardest thing but you have to keep going. I just don't know how to give up nobody ever teach me that. So if I would know how to give up I would but I don't know.

Speaker 24:00

Harkan thank you so much for spending all this time with us for today and really allowing us to see the messiness of the journey as you are letting go, your surrender and you don't know what's up or down but I really appreciate your message and your passion for discovery really more than anything.

Speaker 1 24:20

Yeah welcome welcome I hope this helps some people out there and the message is really grow by lifting others is the safest way to financial and spiritual success. Really grow by lifting others it's so powerful but you have to mean it. I think everyone should really try to grow by lifting others and mean it and if they focus on themselves and try to deliver excellence in any small interaction no surface level I know there will be something greater than what I'm doing it's meant for me to do. Beautiful and where can somebody uh can connect with you on uh can't stop me consulting where can we find your ideally on Tarkan Salah LinkedIn my Tarkan Salah LinkedIn uh send me a DM and they can connect with me and then we can take it from there whatever it is that they need.

Speaker 25:21

Thank you so much for being here today and sharing your story with us.

Speaker 1 25:24

Thank you too. Yeah.

Speaker 25:26

And that is it for us for today thank you so much for listening to or watching this episode of the Business Growth Architect show Founders of the Future if you heard something or you know someone who is stuck in a void please share this episode and help us to grow more listeners and spread the message that spirituality and strategy or the Buddha and the badass do go hand in hand until next time. And goodbye. That's it for this episode of the Business Growth Architect Show Founders of the Future. If you're done playing small and ready to build the future on your terms subscribe share and help us reach more trailblazers like you and if you're serious about creating growing and scaling a business that's aligned with who you are schedule your uncovery session at uncoverysession.com lead with vision. Move with purpose create your future