Business Growth Architect Show

Ep #135: Meredith Bell: Learn How to Develop a Strong Character

• Beate Chelette • Episode 135

Share episode

Had an AHA or Insight? Share it:

Unlock the secrets to building strong character and mastering communication skills with Meredith Bell. Lead in your personal and professional relationships with these insights!

In this episode of the Business Growth Architect Show, I sit down with Meredith Bell, co-founder of Grow Strong Leaders, to explore the profound impact of character and communication on personal and professional development. Meredith's commitment to fostering strong leadership skills show as we explore essential aspects of growth and self-awareness.

Meredith shares her morning rituals to set the tone for her day. She emphasizes the importance of declarations, powerful affirmations that guide her mindset and actions. One of her key declarations is, “Every person is worthy of my love and not one person is worthy of my judgment.” This simple statement serves as her compass, helping Meredith recalibrate her reactions and approach interactions with empathy and understanding, even in moments of irritation or frustration.

We discuss the significance of approaching interactions from a place of love rather than judgment. Meredith explains how this mindset shift can prevent us from jumping to conclusions and making assumptions about others’ behaviors. 

Meredith introduces the beautiful concept of “standing in receivership,” a practice of being open to new ideas and intuitive nudges from the universe. This openness, she explains, is a critical aspect of personal growth and self-awareness. By listening to these subtle signals, we can navigate our paths with greater clarity and purpose. Meredith’s insights encourage us to balance rational thinking with intuitive wisdom, embracing both as essential components of our decision-making processes.

Open-mindedness, as Meredith highlights, is a vital character strength that invites growth and learning. Being open to new ideas and perspectives allows us to elevate ourselves and those around us. This willingness to learn and adapt is a continuous journey, one that enhances our ability to lead with integrity and authenticity.

Meredith's work at Grow Strong Leaders offers practical tools and resources for developing these essential skills. Their 360 assessments, Skill Builder programs, and insightful books provide actionable strategies for enhancing communication and character. Meredith’s podcast, Grow Strong Leaders, features interviews with thought leaders and experts in leadership, offering valuable perspectives on creating workplaces where people thrive.

To learn more about Meredith Bell’s work and explore her tools for character and communication development, visit GrowStrongLeaders.com. 

I invite you to share this episode with someone who would benefit from our discussion on character, communication, and integrity. Your support helps us reach more people and create a greater impact. 

Resources Mentioned: Twitter | Facebook |

_____________________
We appreciate you, thank you for listening. Let us know in the comments what resonated in this episode, we want to hear from you.

Leave a comment, like, share with one person who needs to hear the message our guest shared.

Take our QUIZ and find out what your talent is worth in this market: What's Your Talent Worth (http://WhatsYourTalentWorth.com)

Follow us on Instagram:
Check us out on Tik Tok:
Work With Us

Meredith Bell:

Hi. I'm Meredith Bell. I'm the co-founder and president of "Grow Strong Leaders", and I'm the host of the Grow Strong Leaders podcast, and my company focuses on the publication of software tools that are online that help leaders grow stronger by developing their communication skills and their character skills. And today, in my conversation, piata and I talked about both character and communication, and thinking about what character really consists, and how do we actually apply that, and can we develop it as a skill and not just have it be a trait that we either own or we don't? You'll get some pretty interesting ideas, I think, in this episode about how you can develop a variety of character skills that will serve you well in your own life and in your relationships with others.

BEATE CHELETTE:

And hello, fabulous person! Beate Chelette here. I am the host of the Business Growth Architect Show and I want to welcome you to today's episode where we discuss how to navigate strategy and spirituality to achieve time and financial freedom. Truly successful people have learned how to master both a clear intention and a strategy to execute that in a spiritual practice that will help them to stay in alignment and on purpose. Please enjoy the show and listen to what our guest today has to say about this very topic. Welcome back. This is your host, Beate Chelette, and you're listening to the Business Growth Architect Show today, we're going to talk about a topic that I have myself wondered many times about, and that is character, what makes a person have a good character? And is character a skill that is a learnable skill? And with me today is Meredith Bell from Grow Strong Leaders to talk about that very topic of character and communication skill development. Meredith, I'm so excited to have you on the show.

Meredith Bell:

Thank you, Beate. I'm excited to be with you too and to discuss a topic that's near and dear to my heart. Well,

BEATE CHELETTE:

then I'm glad that is you who I'm talking to about this. So when we talk about character, what does it even mean? You

Meredith Bell:

know, it's hard to have a single definition for what that means. I think most people associated with Who do you represent yourself to be in the world? I'll give you some examples. In the self area, we have things like self confidence, self discipline, also things like humility, patience and composure and so and to me, humility is one of the most interesting ones, because for someone to be effective as a leader and in business, you have to have a realistic view of your own strengths and also be willing to learn and recognize I'm not perfect. I don't have all the answers. And I think where people can get into trouble when it comes to humility is thinking somehow that's weak, or, you know, we're putting ourselves down. It's not it's having that inner confidence to know I I'm really pretty great as I am, and I have more to learn, and so we don't put ourselves above anyone else.

BEATE CHELETTE:

Do you think that there's self awareness from someone to say, I mean, do people know that they're not of a great character? I mean, doesn't everybody think that they're amazing and they have great characters. Everybody else has bad character. How do we make people aware of sort of, in the character valuation, where they are? I mean, would I know this? Well,

Meredith Bell:

we all have blind spots. So it's like anything else in life about ourselves. We have strengths in certain areas and some other opportunities to grow and learn. So just that one area of self awareness, we actually consider that an aspect of character. Because the more I am aware of myself, who I am, the easier it is for me to show up and notice others or notice things about myself. So it's a great question that you're asking. I don't think most of us give a lot of thought to our character. I think we look and see like you said, Can I trust this person? Can I depend on them to follow through and keep their word? A lot of the aspects of character are often built into company values, when you think about it, fairness is another one related to relationships, and that is a key aspect of how do we treat people. Yeah.

BEATE CHELETTE:

I mean, it's almost like there, there should be, like a litmus test. If, as I'm talking to you, I'm thinking like, Look, can we send them to like, a quiz, and then they can go and say. Do I need character development, but then I also know about people, and people tend to not be aware of something like that. So can we talk about where this comes in, in, like a real use case scenario in the real world, right in your work, because you do leadership communication, leadership development, where does it come in? When is it blatant in your face that you need to do something about it well.

Meredith Bell:

And this is where, if I could go back a moment you were asking about, how do people find out? One of the things we've done is we have a 360 feedback tool in which we've built in 36 questions around the character skills. So because no matter what the behavior is, even communication skills. It's hard to self assess and be aware of how others are perceiving me in this particular area. So getting input from others who know you, now that's more of a high tech way, but you could also take the list of 36 and just go around and ask people, when you look at all of these, which ones would you say are my strongest and which one would you say, if I worked on that, it would make a big difference. So let's take a real one like composure, because we consider composure an important aspect of self. So this is your ability to stay calm, maintain your cool, especially in high pressure situations or when someone says something that triggers would normally trigger you, and to be able to stay calm and cool and not get into a reactive mode is really Essential to handling that situation effectively. Because if you get hooked and you react in a way that's emotional, whether it's anger or judging or shouting or criticism, whatever form it takes, you're shutting down that ability to connect with the other person. So composure isn't is a real example. Another one that we all deal with is patience, and to me, patience is we have different exercises we've created around different ways for dealing with and applying patience. So let's take something we all deal with, waiting in line at the store or waiting in traffic, where we have the chance to just get so irritated and start cursing and lashing out at the people, whether it's a cashier or somebody in front of us in a car and traffic, there are so many opportunities for us to take a breath, stay calm, recognize I don't have any choice right here If I want to check out of this store, I got to get in line and wait in line. Or if I want to get from this point to the other point in traffic, am I going to let that get me all stirred up so that I'm a mess when I get to my destination? Or can I find a way to stay calm and recognize I don't have any control over this situation, because a lot of patience involves recognizing. Do I have control at this moment or not? If I have control, I can do something. But if I don't, I need to be patient. Yeah.

BEATE CHELETTE:

So what I'm hearing you say is that it's really my I must have self awareness to some extent to say, the way I react or my behavior pattern doesn't serve me any longer. Or this is, this is not how I want to show up. I remember, in a lot of the 360 assessments, or a lot of the personality assessments, it's almost like people know who they are, but then they have this wishful thinking that others don't see them as they are afraid they are being seen, which is so convoluted to even to even look at this from this perspective. But I think that's it. We have this image of ourselves. It's not how you feel about yourself, it's how other people see you, because that's the outside on how it shows up. So you're saying that I can find out how I'm being perceived by either asking the question or by observing myself and my behavior. I think telltale signs are also when people don't want to be in the same room with you, when they walk away, when they rolling their eyes, or when they you know, just make certain kinds of comments. God, it's so difficult. You never listen, right? I think that those are signs that that there are some things that need to be developed. The other part that you say, that you you work on with people is communication skills. So we covered sort of the the big thing is like, how do I build my character? How to become a person of character and a character that other people are attracted to, a character that leads now communication is the next big hurdle in articulating what it. You said you want other people do, how to how to lead others. How does this communication tie into that? All right, so back to the communication How does communication tie into what you do? And what does this have to do with character?

Meredith Bell:

Well, we, for years, have really focused on communication skills, because it's one of the big issues that prevents leaders from being as effective as they might be and throughout an organization, communication is what often gets in the way of people getting work done and performing at their best and the way they're related. If we take listening for a minute and another character skill that we call empathy, it's important to be an effective listener in order to express or show empathy to someone else, because it requires really understanding. What is it they're trying to say? What is it they're experiencing in their lives, in this moment that we need to grasp and understand, and so our ability to really get inside somebody else's head, stand in their shoes and feel, or at least imagine, what they're feeling in that moment, so that we're able to listen well and then reflect back to them. It sounds like you're really frustrated or you're really upset about this, to me, one of the most important things in life, and what I consider success as a human being is connecting with others, and so our ability to listen, when we learn to do that well, it is a superpower. So few people do it well. And another way that it connects with character is with this idea of patience that I was just talking about. Because if I'm really listening to you and really want to hear what you have to say, I'm going to be patient and not interrupt, not finish your senses, not look at my watch, all of which tends to get in the way of connecting with that other person. So there's a lot of integration. Another example would be if someone is giving you feedback about your behavior and your tendency is to lash out or defend or justify or explain. That's where composure comes in, to be gracious and accept what the person is saying and maybe ask some questions to clarify, but not jumping down their throat, because then they probably aren't going to come and give you any feedback again, because it wasn't worth the price they had to pay to do it. So those are just a couple of quick examples of how these are really integrated, yeah,

BEATE CHELETTE:

because you can then really cannot go and say, Well, now that I know what you really think, now I'm going to let you feel my displeasure with your feedback. I think that's why we see it a lot in politics, is that people portray that they're of a particular character, and then, but they're really not. They're just stepping into a persona that is designed to achieve a particular outcome. But it's not authentic. It's not congruent. It is. It's an act. And then in the communication, they keep it together until they get challenged, and then the whole thing falls apart, which I think is exactly to your point. Then you never had that character development in the first place. It was an act, and you never had the communication skills because it was an act. I want to move a little bit over to the spiritual aspect of things you have said before that you feel that spirituality in the work that you do and how you show up, has a lot to do with the non judgment. Tell me a little bit more about that. What is the spiritual part about the non judgment?

Meredith Bell:

Well, for me, the spiritual aspect for my life is not so much about religion. It's about connecting with the greater universe and recognizing who I am at my core is love. And so every day, what I focus on doing Beate is creating myself because I have learned that if I don't take time in the morning to think about write about who I am going to be that day, then I jump into my do list too quickly, and then who I'm being is not in my is not serving me the best, so I can serve myself and others better when I take time in the morning to really reflect on who I want to be. And so it ties into the non judging if I'm focusing on being love, being loving service, being kind. And I I have things that I write out almost every day, and I also have declarations that I make, that I live into. So the point of taking that time in the morning to create. Myself is a beautiful way of stepping into the day from a really good place. It's where I'm coming from. So I have statements like I am absolute calmness, clarity and confidence, and I've said this for years, and so it's kind of a part of me. So a few years ago, when I was doing a program globally online, and my internet service went out the night before, and we weren't sure it was going to be up in time, and it wasn't, I kept saying that to myself, I'm absolute calmness, clarity, confidence. And so the woman who was the coordinator, I got on the phone with her early in the morning, and she was me. She said, how can you be so calm? I said, because we're going to figure this out. I had already sent her the slides. I've set up my phone for zoom, and we made it work. By the afternoon session, it was I was back online, but I just was able to have that clarity of thinking when we get ourselves all bundled up in knots, we really strangle, that ability to be able to create and come up with these ideas that wouldn't occur to us when we're feeling tense, anxious, all the negative emotions. So for me, it's very important to stay grounded throughout the day, and that helps me. Another thing that I say, one of my declarations is I am that every person is worthy of my love, and not one person is worthy of my judgment. And so when I come from that place, if I start to feel irritated with someone's behavior or something, they say it helps me recalibrate and go back to where I want to come from. Because if I'm coming from the place of loving and not judging, then I'm going to be less likely to jump to conclusions or make assumptions about why they're being how they're being in that moment, because everyone has a place they're coming from, and we don't know what they've experienced up to that moment in their lives or in their day. Oh, 100%

BEATE CHELETTE:

I always remember that, you know, in one of my marketing emails, there's an email that has a headline that says, are you okay? And it has a very high open rate. And in the beginning, I just did that because I wanted to get the reaction the open rate. But then when you get the response and it says, No, I'm really not. My wife of 30 years died last week. Now you feel like a jerk because you did that for clicks. And then I had to go back to the conversation we are having about character and communication and say, Well, I did ask that question, and somebody answered me. Now what do I do with that? And I had to say, well, if I ask that question, I need to ask that question in that context that I really want to know the answer. And then when the answer comes, and the answer is as devastating as something like this, I mean, stuff that was like life and death, heavy, heavy, heavy stuff, and you go, Well, why are you opening my email? Shouldn't you be somewhere else doing something really, much more meaningful than engaging with me. But there was something about the way that I did ask that compelled them to respond. And to your point, I think it comes with that responsibility and the character that when we do show up in a particular way for our clients, our audience, our prospects, that this integrity that I'm hearing kind of like, you know, pulling through here to say, let me first become the person I want to be, and then live in integrity with this and then, and then I can face what's coming at me. Because the universe is very creative with solutions. You just have to be open to that. Have I caught that correctly?

Meredith Bell:

Yeah, you know, part of the morning ritual for me is that listening as well. So it isn't just saying I'm creating myself. It's sitting and listening. What nudges Am I getting? What suggestions? So I've heard this phrase, standing in receivership.

BEATE CHELETTE:

Oh, I love that. Standing in receivership. That's beautiful. Yes, one

Meredith Bell:

of my past guests used that phrase, and Jeff Spencer is his name, and I just love that, because it really does represent openness, which open mindedness, by the way, is another character strength that we talk about. Are you open to hearing new ideas, or do you tend to be kind of rigid in your thinking? So all of these are sort of like invitations, yeah, when you think about it's an invitation to grow and learn and be and kind of elevate your own self. And as you do that, you have the capability of elevating others, because we can't. Really bring someone else further along than we've already been in our own journey. And so this willingness to learn grow and then listening to those invitations that we get and responding to them we can that's another aspect to me of spiritual is our intuition really has us tuned into this whole you can call it vibration, energy, whatever, that's beyond what our conscious minds tell us. And I think sometimes our rational minds want to discount that, but it's it's an equally important part of who we can become in our own growth. If we circling back to what you first started talking about and when you were saying the self awareness, you know, one simple aspect of self awareness is just to start noticing, you know, notice. How do people respond to you when they see you approaching, or when they're in a meeting with you and you speak up all of these things, if we notice, we don't have to judge ourselves or judge others, but just look for okay. I noticed that. What might that mean for me? How might I use that information? You know, I

BEATE CHELETTE:

learned this from Brian Tracy, believe it or not. And a long, long time ago, I was helping out a speaker colleague of mine, and I was the celebrity wrangler for Brian Tracy. And wherever Brian Tracy went, there was this drove of people that are just like Brian, Brian, Brian, you know, Can you sign my book? You know, one question, and there was a point where I'm like, can we just let the poor man go in his car and drive back to San Diego. And I said to him, Brian, you know, if at any given time this gets too much to you for you, just let me know, and I'll make sure that the crowd disappears. And he and I will never forget this. And this is like outside where the valet is. So the Valley had brought his car. His car was already parked there for what, like 20 minutes, and he's still talking to people, and he turns to me and he says, beat him. Every person matters. And I'm thinking to myself, this is good enough for Brian Tracy. He's good enough for me. And I've never, I've never, never forgotten this.

Meredith Bell:

Well, I love that, because it's true, first of all, and it also shows his own humility. No matter how famous someone gets, they can still remember every person counts. And I think that, to me, is just a huge aspect of character. It looks at our own humility, again, recognizing we're not the be all and end all of something, but also compassion and generosity, being of service to other. All of these are different aspects of character that, to me, are beautifully represented in that one sentence. And

BEATE CHELETTE:

what a perfect way for us to end our interview, because I think that that really sort of like brought it now that you pointed it out really nicely together, but that is a statement of character and integrity. Because if he is really a speaker, and if that's how he shows up, as a leadership a trainer, a coach, a business, a coach and consultant, then that's exactly how it should be, and that is how he shows up. And certainly a lesson I have never, never forgotten in my life. So Meredith, for someone who now wants to find out about the work that you do, where do we send them?

Meredith Bell:

Our website is growstrongleaders.com so they can get information about our 360 our skill builder program, and books that we've written around these topics of communication and character. I'm on primarily LinkedIn, also Facebook and Twitter or x, but I'm probably most active on LinkedIn. I have a newsletter there, and also my podcast, grow strong leaders. You can find that on our Grow strong leaders website, and I would invite people to check that out too. I interview a lot of interesting people in the leadership world, and a lot of them are talking about various aspects of character, by the way. So even though we don't, you know, overtly say character, that's really what it's all about, how to be the kind of leader and create the kind of workplace where people love showing up and giving their best because of how they're treated. Yeah,

BEATE CHELETTE:

wonderful. Well, thank you so much. Meredith, it's been amazing to have you on the show. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you, and that's it for us for today. Thank you so much for listening to or watching this episode of the Business Growth Architect Show. Please share this episode with one other person that needs to hear what we talked about today. Character, communication, being true to your word, showing up with an integrity, and make sure you check out all of Meredith information and until we see each other again next time and GOODBYE. So appreciate you being here. Thank you. So much for listening to the entire episode. Please subscribe to the podcast. Give us a five star, review, a comment and share this episode with one more person so that you can help us help more people. Thank you again until next time. Goodbye.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Beate Chelette

Host